Category Archives: Humour

Political Humour

moved to: http://sakooterspeaks.com/humour/political-humour/171/

The Koshur Vegies

Moved to: http://sakooterspeaks.com/humour/the-koshur-vegies/162/

Round table

Question:
Why are conferences on ‘critical’ and ‘serious’ issue discussed on a round table?

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Ans:
Coz the talk goes round and round in circles forever and ever…

(ah.. reminds me of Buddha, and moksha or freedom from the cycle of rebirth…)

Mad Cow Syndrome.

moved to: http://sakooterspeaks.com/humour/mad-cow-syndrome/9/

The Cow Story.

Here is another something i found that I had written some time last year.. you might want to read thru…

COW!

A cow couldn’t possibly an animal that could fascinate me… I could have never thought that I would actually pen down my observations about cows…

However, life being “LIFE” – has its mysteries, and at this particular point in life I am stuck with cows. Oh no! I don’t work in a farm.. far from it.. but somehow cows are a indigenous inhabitants of Rangreth’s Electronic Complex, and even thought I never asked for it, life has put me face to face with cows.

Now I think back and recall the first observation I had about cows. Yes… near convent road, I used to see how cows have littered and how they moo and walk around (as if they own the place). I used to shrug at their never ending and gluttonous eating.. eating anything… including plastic bags…

Cow – an animal I couldn’t ascribe any personality to. There is no elegance, no strength, no beauty, no compassion – nothing about cow could fascinate anyone – except probably the fact that it appears so cow-ish! The Kashmiri word “gaav” describes a cow best. A cow is a “gaav” –nothing more nothing less.

I thought that was it. I possibly cant analyze a cow much! There isn’t much to a cow’s personality that I could think about.

Life proved me wrong once again.

I met this woman who was told me the troubles she was having with her cows… rather the troubles that her new cow was giving her. It may sound funny, but this is a serious issue. The new cow couldn’t adjust with the ones that were there.

I was forced to think. Cows actually having adjustment problems! Hey that’s like humans. When they are put in a new setup, they need time to adjust. Then they spend time together, and finally one fine day, they are okay with things – adjusted. “That’s a wow!”, I thought to myself.

And yet another day, I was deep in thought, and I saw these cows in their process of “grass intake”. And the first impression they made was “How dumb!”. They seemed to notice nothing, think nothing, just eating. But then I thought, “Hey that’s like humans!” This is about survival. Every morning we rush like mad people to our office – work the whole day and then we go home – there doesn’t seem some great purpose attached to it all – except that this is livelihood! So what’s so dumb about the poor cow.

Now, I was actually sympathizing with the cows. But then, cows are silly.. they eat anything.. even plastic bags…

But don’t humans as well? We do so many things that shouldn’t be done – we smoke while we know that smoking kills.. It actually began to sound like cows eating plastic bags.

Worse still…

Now I was completely taken aback! Cows are better off! I thought of so many problems that exist in our society. I thought of drug addiction, I thought of alcoholism, I thought … and my brain processor got stuck! No way!

“Cows litter! They have no manners!” – uh emm… aggghhh! I was beginning to feel miserable! Cows are better off! Look at all these people that make up our “human society” – educated people – with degrees – throwing plastic bags, trash, filth anywhere…

I must stop thinking about cows. Cows are still “gaav” – but you know what.. I think they are better off.

Hats off to all the cows of this world! They are useful. They don’t waste their lives in envy and hypocrisy. They carry their faults and don’t pretend to be “intelligent” – like humans do.

c Continue reading

What do you do when you have nothing to do?

“Hello, I am Suhail Khan, your host for tonights program…”

Saturday night song request or something… that’s the name of the program.. oh yes. sorry.. I ought to have introduced the program… obviously not everyone is a keen listener of Radio Kashmir’s programs and that too Saturday Night Song request show…

Just because I am writing about it doesnt mean that I am die-hard fan of the radio show, but well I bumped into it while playing with my mobile phone.. I couldn’t help but wait and listen.. what???? this is Radio Kashmir…

Brough back memories of another “english song request” program episode I happened to listen to; some time last year.. that time I could hardly believe that the three people hosting the show were so messed up..

Ok.. I am losing track.. but let me just tell you about that show last winter before I tell you about Mr.Suhail Khans attempt at hosting the show…

The show last year…
We were sitting in the hammam, one of those cold evenings and we happened to tune into this english song request program which was being hosted by three people….
We were trying hard to understand what exactly the three were trying to do.. but well.. it seemed they were talking about a some bollywood movie they all seemed to have watched… by the name..BLACK…

I havent watched the movie, but well have heard it’s a nice one..but well the show was supposed to teach me another thing or two about what makes a great movie!

anyways.. the lady, and the two guys were desperately trying to have a conversation about the movie.. and I remember them saying this about the main actress of the movie..

“And the heroine was mentally blind” [WHAT ??????]

[that certainly makes the movie appear interesting.. I have never had the opportunity to know about people who are mentally blind — but then… maybe they are talking at a philosophical level.. about people who see things but they dont see… the blindness that comes through arrogance… ok. i am getting carried away… but then.. maybe this is what they meant…]

and ofcourse they were talking about what makes a good movie, and one of them said,

“and the film should enjoy us”…

[again I got confused.. I mean.. it is understandable when people/audience enjoy the movie.. but some level of interaction in this movie that actually enables the movie to enjoy us.. or whatever…??? ???? ?????? ]

anyways… it sends my head in a dazed, confused state when I think of the movie enjoying me and becoming mentally blind… so let me just tell you about this poor host who was trying to host the show last saturday…

Saturday the 20th Jan…

As I just told you, I kind of stumbled and bumped into listening to the show.. but this time round I was like.. okay… the host seems quite ok… 🙂
and then the poor host.. I could serioulsy only sympathise with him..

He would ask people.. “How do you do” and many would not know what to say… thinking he is asking them about their job profile…
and then he would get calls from these people all age groups (we had a caller — a class 7 student ..) and some old-young men… who wanted Suhail Khan to guess who they were…(and the host had to pretend that he recognised him!)[hello.. !!!!]

…and then there were people thanking him.. for being their.. “dear friend, best friend… bla bla bla” and what not..

and then he would ask the callers..”What do you do when you have nothing to do”.. it seemed no less than a tongue twister to nearly all of them..and the responses were..well..

never mind….

the show seriously confused me.. I was unable to understand what emotions I am supposed to have.. am I supposed to be upset that we have such a weird crowd calling in.. or feel like arrogance personified.. (so what if they speak the way they do..???.) or should I not feel anything!

but tonight I shall listen to the show and try to “make the show enjoy me”

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What sakooter?

I have been asked and people often wonder WHAT? sakooter?
and I smile.. coz this has been my name for such a long time..
so today I shall unravel the story of sakooter….

Once upon a time, I used to study in the university, the undergraduate days… (well in Kashmir, we call it college).. and it was then that I became very active in student programs… and that logically entailed that I would be running from one corner of our campus to another the whole time.. [well, and.. I happen to walk fast…] I have often found people comment on that and there is one particular incident I remember where one of the students wanted to ask me something.. and the poor guy had to follow me quite a while before he could catch up and manage to talk to me..
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anyways.. so one of my other friends devised this name (before deciding on BMW, Maruti and finally the sakooter)..besides the many others including (.. umm.. lets not discuss those this time round).. and I thought it fit perfectly… coz a sakooter actually can travel through the narrowest kochas .. and I always pictured myself in Kashmir… so that just fit so well..

so sakooter i became…i opened an email account.. the id was not taken 🙂 …
and then there was this kashmiri forum I used to post regularly on… and of course i used the name sakooter… and sakooter got into lots of arguments.. and discussions and the sakooter never stopped…

the sakooter speaks is a continuation of the thought process of the sakooter that travels through the narrowest kochas and streets at an incredible speed…

PS:
Sorry.. there is no drama… no emotion in this story.. its just a plain sakooter story.. nothing fanciful…nothing funny.. its the sakooter side of me!


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