Khandar – The Kashmiri Wedding – part 2

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16 responses to “Khandar – The Kashmiri Wedding – part 2

  1. I am going to die of laughter!

    Catching, what a translation of Thap. Sounds as if the to-be in laws have to run after the guy/girl and catch him/her! Imagine the scence!

    You have forgotten sending-the-mithai-part, the cakes, the dry-fruits and the chocolates (now-a-days) which is a way of informing the relatives and neighbours (Why can’t a phone call do the work?)

    And the Nishain, the Nazr (something of that sort), the going to bride’s place, the going to groom’s place, the pound (gold coins!) and all this before the Khandar!

    I know I am writing all in a haphazard manner, one should do a documentary on koshur Khandar!

  2. I had to stop at thap. it was getting on to my nerves. Will write further in the next episode (episode??)

    Also… according to latest sources, the ‘thap’ is known among the Kashmiri ‘angrez’ as “grabbing ceremony”.. what-ever!!!

  3. Abu Sadat Nurullah

    I guess the social norms are more or less same in the sub-continent (particularly in Bangladeshi rural tradition, as I see it), having different terms used to describe it. Although in some cases, Kashmiri Wedding process seems to be more complexly painstaking.

  4. It truly is very complex! When I read what I had written, I thought to myself, it sounds much simpler than it actually is.

    There is a lot more that I hope I can pen down about the koshur khandar. 🙂

    Will be writing about the events after the ‘thap’ till the actual wedding – with its various variations that I know of, inshaAllah!

  5. ohh wat an interesting topic here!!
    well i can say, such norm r still exist at some part of malaysia-especially de remote n suburban area…Depends on de family way of thinking n values. When de girl (especially) reaching 23 n above, de family would start make themselve busy wth de arrangement. Even most of my cousins frm other state were been ‘thap’ to dis marriage arrangement stuff. he hee Luckily im here at Kuala Lumpur.
    but on de other hand..if we look into de positive side of it, i think de process r quite acceptable. Inline with de Shari’ah, in a way to find de partner of life.

  6. true. I have thought much about it, and I cant think of a better way!

  7. A good effort to present a kashmiri wedding process………!
    I was particularly amused by the interpretation of ‘Thap”!!

  8. hmm, i wonder whenz the next episode coming. han asma bajee.

    is it in october or…

    good work.
    kind-af-eldinbleze stuff

  9. Unless its a love marriage and the girl/guy know each other from before. Then the parents will try to fake as much of the stuff mentioned in the post trying to hide the fact that their kids had the balls to find a mate on their own.

    Another side note, the manzimyor is almost always a fag…..

  10. mamoon,…. shhhhhh….. 😛

    next episode jaldi aayayga…. have been a bit busy at work… 🙂

  11. Talking of love marraiges… oh! That deserves another long discourse… but then.. I would end up irritated with the whole social system…

    Just a little something that I cant help but get annoyed at is how some “shareef” boys/girls after having multiple affairs and breaking multiple hearts, get married ‘as per their parents wishes’ — and automatically adorn the title of “shareef”. While people who remain faithful to the person they love, and actually do marry them, end up with people hush-hushing the whole process… and ofcourse, all the irritating people saying…”Eyem chu na paanai kormut”


  12. Matches are made in heaven and burnt on earth…

    Say what!!!

    Marriages are made by manzumyours and settled by manzumyours and all the rest in between by the menzumyours…

    Where the h**l are the others…

  13. trying to comply with manzimyor’s instructions…

    Anyhow… Having spewed the venom against Manzimyors, one has to agree they are indispensable! Just that maybe the way things work could be improved upon.

    And mamoon… there isn’t all that to be burnt.. except maybe we cud work on burning a lot of hypocrisies that are in our society.

  14. How did I miss this one?

    Definitely the complications are more. And people make sure they make it as complicated as they can, so that others who want to keep the complications away are forced to make things complicated.

    Now how complicated is this? 🙂

  15. One of the most important thing in kashmir that needs a complete transformation is the kashmri khandar,It neither goes by religion nor by the modern day renaissance.It is sick,it is foolish,and it shows what idiots we kashmiri,s are in following a stupid tradition that needs to be revived and be changed in the light of religion as well as sensibilities bestowed by Allah to human mind and which we somehow have surrendered to some social bindings .

    How educated people hand over themselves and the most important decision of their life,s to an illiterate manzimyour is something that i still fail to understand,who doesnt give a damn about them but is only concerned with his money.

    Which islam says that we have to go through such a complicated process that kashmiri marraige is,so much so that kashmiri parents almost mourn the birth of a girl child.It is because we kashmiris have made the pious bond into a material transaction.

    In short everything about a kashmiri marraige is

    wrong and we kashmiri people have to put a strong foot forward and change the whole meaning ,going by religion and using our brains……

  16. Pingback: Khandar the Kashmiri Wedding – Part 3 | The Sakooter Speaks

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